In a Daze… I Surrender

I have been in a daze all day today because I can’t stop thinking about the flogging last night. The reason I wanted to live this lifestyle was because I read that with the right Master, it helped you to stay disciplined and on the right track. Last night blew my mind. I had no idea that MA remembered everything I told him two months prior to our first flogging session last night.

It felt good to know someone actually cared. I know he’s gonna help me. The slight stinging on my body all day has helped me to remember what I should and shouldn’t be doing.

Last night I remembered him saying to me as he beat me, “Why didn’t you ask me for help? Didn’t I help you before? You want to be strong & shit, huh? You wanna be that strong independent black woman, don’t you? I’m going to change that. You’re gonna let that mentality go! If you need help, ask for it. STOP BEING PRIDEFUL!” That’s when I first began crying… Yes, the whacks hurt but I cried because I was there and had no choice but to submit to him.

I broke down, apologized and everything. He hit me harder & told me NEVER to apologize to him… I’ve been thinking about this all day… I never want to disappoint him again, EVER!

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